Thursday, April 3, 2008
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Luke Suzumoto.
I forgot to write about the most important part of the film. The man behind it all. The man that gets no credit at all. The Luke Suzumoto (I hope to GOD I'm spelling that right, because if i'm not--and I misspell it a LOT--I'm in the dog house tonight. No sex for me). Luke Suzumoto was with me for the ENTIRE writing of the script. He was my "go-to" guy. Whenever I would have an idea like, "Okay. So the dad thinks that he's Elvis Presley because he was it a a car accident and only has long-term memory, etc.", he would say "that's crap" (He's actually say something more like "uhh...", which i took to mean "that's crap"). I have to thank Lukie for helping me write the entire script, and he deserves a credit as "shit checker".
In addition to his title as "Shit Checker", he's also the Director of Photography on the entire film, although he's often stuck with nothing to do. He's in charge of the entire look of the film, and if it comes out shitty, I know who's ass to kick.
I think Luke deserves more credit than anybody on this film for putting up with so much of my bullshit and everybody's bullshit. He sits around doing nothing when Austin brings "his friend that he boxes with" to "set up lights". If there was ONE major injustice done to anybody on this film, it wouldn't be giving Maggie's role to Sam Hertz and it wouldn't be giving Sam France's lines to Michael. It would be taking Luke for granted.
Well, here's your credit, Luke. On a blog somewhere on the internet. A blog that you might never read, but a living testament to you. You are a great photographer, visionary, actor, and friend. You hold everything together whether you think you do or not. You are the glue of this movie.
Thank you for everything.
--Jonathan Rado.
In addition to his title as "Shit Checker", he's also the Director of Photography on the entire film, although he's often stuck with nothing to do. He's in charge of the entire look of the film, and if it comes out shitty, I know who's ass to kick.
I think Luke deserves more credit than anybody on this film for putting up with so much of my bullshit and everybody's bullshit. He sits around doing nothing when Austin brings "his friend that he boxes with" to "set up lights". If there was ONE major injustice done to anybody on this film, it wouldn't be giving Maggie's role to Sam Hertz and it wouldn't be giving Sam France's lines to Michael. It would be taking Luke for granted.
Well, here's your credit, Luke. On a blog somewhere on the internet. A blog that you might never read, but a living testament to you. You are a great photographer, visionary, actor, and friend. You hold everything together whether you think you do or not. You are the glue of this movie.
Thank you for everything.
--Jonathan Rado.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Why HAOJ Will Blow Minds (and Why it Matters) by Jonathan Rado
"Here's Another One, Jon" is going to be the breakout hit of the summer. Kiss my ass, Daniel-Day Lewis and fuck you, Coen Brothers. There's a new sheriff in town. In fact, many sheriffs. There's a fucking police force in town--and they ain't takin' names, they're taking numbers (what?).
HAOJ (for short) will succeed for one and only one reason: The Stellar Cast. Not since "Magnolia" or at least "Colonel Bedlum" has there been a better cast.
Let's start with Micheal Callas. The genius of Micheal Callas cannot be described in words. Only in hand gestures. When I thought Sam would not be able to be in the film, I asked Michael to play the part. He stepped in with open arms and an open heart (I don't know what that means), and played the part better than Sam could have. He is the driving force behind this movie -- acting in it as well as helping out behind the scenes. Fuck yeah.
Sam France: I wrote the "Johnny Lash" part for Sam (it was then Peter Apple), and directly quoted (when I say "quoted" i mean "took credit for") conversations (Sam France rants) that we've had in the screenplay. The movie took a serious blow when we thought he couldn't be in it, but now he's back (and funnier than ever). I wrote him a better part (despite what he tells you), and he plays it fantastically, even though he's not in it a lot (he's in it for a good 4/6 of the script, despite what he tells you). The movie would suffer without him.
Sam Hertz: Wow. Sam stepped in as Maggie Marshall after we realized that using Maggie Anderson would never work (although she was also fantastic). She was originally the character of Layla, but has somehow charmed her way up to "the big league". The part of Maggie is a hard part to play, because it's not THAT funny but still has to carry the entire movie. It's a lot of pressure, and although we've only had one shoot with her, she's doing it fantastically. We originally were worried about her playing it to "theatrey", but she managed not to (which is hard to do--come from the stage to screen. I have heard this. I wouldn't know. Fuck me). She DOES carry the film, and better than anybody expected her to. A star is born. She's the next Diane Keaton (or at least the next Allie Martone).
Bryan Felber: I originally wrote a part for Bryan to make him feel bad. You see, I've never had a big role in any of his movies. I'm usually the guy he calls to fill in for Evan Lewis. My 3 lines in "Metronome" are the funniest one's -- not to mention my "I don't know, they speak French there" in Doppelganger. So, to spite him, I tried to write him a really funny part. I partly succeeded. The part of Stephen Cash isn't THAT funny, the lines are strangely written, and written really fast at that. However, at the read-through that we held, the world (all 9 of us) got a glimpse at the true genius of Bryan Felber. He managed to take a half-assed character and create it into a powerhouse of funny. It's his best role (third to Pushpaup and Kid #4 in Doppelganger). People will remember his performance forever (for maybe three weeks). However, Bryan is not just a brilliant actor, he's also the producer of the film. He's doing a wonderful job at planning shoots and whatnot. He's a breath of fresh air on the set and all around a great guy. All hail Bryan Felber.
Ron Becks: Ron Becks plays my therapist "Dr. Becks". The character was originally named "Dr. Coyne", but we changed it to Dr. Becks because he played the character so much differently than it was written (a good thing). His performance was marvelous and now he lives in Las Vegas. I had to pick him up at his apartment a couple times and he made my car smell like petchulli oil. That's all I have to say about Ron Becks.
Ariana Dewing: Ariana plays Courtney. She has about seven lines, all of which she plays better than Sidney Portier in "In The Heat of the Night" ("they call me Mrs. Dewing!"). I'm going to give her more lines because she's very good at them. My fingers are tiring. I will do a few more.
Ashley Strumwasser: She plays the character Layla. We haven't filmed anything with her yet, but she was great at the read through. I look forward to the shoots.
Cathrine Combes: Plays Allison Costello. She's on the Oak Park Comedy Sportz team. I've never even met her, but I already know that she'll be great in this sarcastic, Radoesque role.
Chris Recuptio: I've met him once. He came to the Auditions and read for Mooky. He got the part on the spot. We haven't filmed with him yet.
Allison Martone: She isn't in the film yet. But needs to be. She's the most talented person in the Agoura High drama program, and deserves a good part in this film. She's blown me away in every role that she's ever played, and I would be honored to have her in this movie. I've just got to write her a part -- that's the hard part.
Austin Kearns: Austin doesn't have a role in the film, but he's the director (as you all know). Austin is doing a great job directing, and i truly, honestly, have the utmost faith in him when nobody else does. Austin makes movies about Bicycle fights and Frisbees. He's sure as hell never made a romantic comedy. Hell, I'd be surprised if he's even seen a romantic comedy. But therin lies the genius. He's come into it with no preconceived notions. He's making something fresh out of my re-hashed script, and I really enjoy it. Even if he is a pain in the ass.
Jonathan Rado: Not really that good in the movie. I didn't write myself any funny lines, either. I just tell a bunch of annoying stories and fragment my sentences with "um" and "uh". Everybody else carries the film. Snaps for ensembles!
HAOJ (for short) will succeed for one and only one reason: The Stellar Cast. Not since "Magnolia" or at least "Colonel Bedlum" has there been a better cast.
Let's start with Micheal Callas. The genius of Micheal Callas cannot be described in words. Only in hand gestures. When I thought Sam would not be able to be in the film, I asked Michael to play the part. He stepped in with open arms and an open heart (I don't know what that means), and played the part better than Sam could have. He is the driving force behind this movie -- acting in it as well as helping out behind the scenes. Fuck yeah.
Sam France: I wrote the "Johnny Lash" part for Sam (it was then Peter Apple), and directly quoted (when I say "quoted" i mean "took credit for") conversations (Sam France rants) that we've had in the screenplay. The movie took a serious blow when we thought he couldn't be in it, but now he's back (and funnier than ever). I wrote him a better part (despite what he tells you), and he plays it fantastically, even though he's not in it a lot (he's in it for a good 4/6 of the script, despite what he tells you). The movie would suffer without him.
Sam Hertz: Wow. Sam stepped in as Maggie Marshall after we realized that using Maggie Anderson would never work (although she was also fantastic). She was originally the character of Layla, but has somehow charmed her way up to "the big league". The part of Maggie is a hard part to play, because it's not THAT funny but still has to carry the entire movie. It's a lot of pressure, and although we've only had one shoot with her, she's doing it fantastically. We originally were worried about her playing it to "theatrey", but she managed not to (which is hard to do--come from the stage to screen. I have heard this. I wouldn't know. Fuck me). She DOES carry the film, and better than anybody expected her to. A star is born. She's the next Diane Keaton (or at least the next Allie Martone).
Bryan Felber: I originally wrote a part for Bryan to make him feel bad. You see, I've never had a big role in any of his movies. I'm usually the guy he calls to fill in for Evan Lewis. My 3 lines in "Metronome" are the funniest one's -- not to mention my "I don't know, they speak French there" in Doppelganger. So, to spite him, I tried to write him a really funny part. I partly succeeded. The part of Stephen Cash isn't THAT funny, the lines are strangely written, and written really fast at that. However, at the read-through that we held, the world (all 9 of us) got a glimpse at the true genius of Bryan Felber. He managed to take a half-assed character and create it into a powerhouse of funny. It's his best role (third to Pushpaup and Kid #4 in Doppelganger). People will remember his performance forever (for maybe three weeks). However, Bryan is not just a brilliant actor, he's also the producer of the film. He's doing a wonderful job at planning shoots and whatnot. He's a breath of fresh air on the set and all around a great guy. All hail Bryan Felber.
Ron Becks: Ron Becks plays my therapist "Dr. Becks". The character was originally named "Dr. Coyne", but we changed it to Dr. Becks because he played the character so much differently than it was written (a good thing). His performance was marvelous and now he lives in Las Vegas. I had to pick him up at his apartment a couple times and he made my car smell like petchulli oil. That's all I have to say about Ron Becks.
Ariana Dewing: Ariana plays Courtney. She has about seven lines, all of which she plays better than Sidney Portier in "In The Heat of the Night" ("they call me Mrs. Dewing!"). I'm going to give her more lines because she's very good at them. My fingers are tiring. I will do a few more.
Ashley Strumwasser: She plays the character Layla. We haven't filmed anything with her yet, but she was great at the read through. I look forward to the shoots.
Cathrine Combes: Plays Allison Costello. She's on the Oak Park Comedy Sportz team. I've never even met her, but I already know that she'll be great in this sarcastic, Radoesque role.
Chris Recuptio: I've met him once. He came to the Auditions and read for Mooky. He got the part on the spot. We haven't filmed with him yet.
Allison Martone: She isn't in the film yet. But needs to be. She's the most talented person in the Agoura High drama program, and deserves a good part in this film. She's blown me away in every role that she's ever played, and I would be honored to have her in this movie. I've just got to write her a part -- that's the hard part.
Austin Kearns: Austin doesn't have a role in the film, but he's the director (as you all know). Austin is doing a great job directing, and i truly, honestly, have the utmost faith in him when nobody else does. Austin makes movies about Bicycle fights and Frisbees. He's sure as hell never made a romantic comedy. Hell, I'd be surprised if he's even seen a romantic comedy. But therin lies the genius. He's come into it with no preconceived notions. He's making something fresh out of my re-hashed script, and I really enjoy it. Even if he is a pain in the ass.
Jonathan Rado: Not really that good in the movie. I didn't write myself any funny lines, either. I just tell a bunch of annoying stories and fragment my sentences with "um" and "uh". Everybody else carries the film. Snaps for ensembles!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
"Why 'HAOJ' Will Fail (And Why It Matters)" by Sam France
After weeks of contemplation and rigorous research, I have developed my HAOJ thesis.
I am both honoured and proud to announce that this film is destined to fail miserably. It will be boring, un-funny and maybe even offensive. Why?
First off, I'm in it. Anything I'm in is never really taken seriously. Why do you think Ethan Kuperberg never cast me in anything? I had two lines in the murder fucking mystery last year, Man. Marcella Gersh even jumped the gun the year previous and handed me a fat, British role where I played the Asshole I play in everything. Doppelfuck? No, thanks. What if I played A.J.'s role in Doppelfuck? Wow. No, it wouldn't have kicked ass. It would have been a high Mr. Robbins improvising bullshit, and would have kicked ass. And I would've had to kiss Alex Paul, which isn't so bad seeing that I had to kiss her in Sugar, which I wasn't in because I became an alcoholic as part of a science experiment. But now I'm a Mormon and I'm saved.
Secondly, nobody can relate to the screenplay. I don't even get half the references and I'm Rado's fucking best friend. Superbad fucking slappy sippy dick humor? Kids can relate to that. Oscar Wilde? Who? Yeah, because more than 50 percent of the people on Earth have a dick but a good 90 percent of my high school's never read The Picture Of Dorian Gray. I sound like Bendis.
Thirdly, there's no story. The whole thing is a Rado vanity project. Bendis' death, the Big Funeral; nothing happens besides Rado just being Rado for two hours and a good two minutes of Bendis-isms is enough for me, if not too much.
Obviously, the collaboration of Auddy Waffles and Rado is insane -- and the ending result can only be a compromised vision of the two. Wes Anderson, meet Woody Allen. Okay, Good. Now -- make a movie together and don't disagree about the shot where Diane Keaton is wearing a red jumpsuit and is sitting in front of floral wallpaper to sitar music for a half an hour. Go!
Also, there's no sex. What's a movie without sex?
All in all, Martin luther king was a good man because he was white and because white people brought dying black people to america to serve the Lord and eat corn on the cob. yayayayaya!!!
-dead
I am both honoured and proud to announce that this film is destined to fail miserably. It will be boring, un-funny and maybe even offensive. Why?
First off, I'm in it. Anything I'm in is never really taken seriously. Why do you think Ethan Kuperberg never cast me in anything? I had two lines in the murder fucking mystery last year, Man. Marcella Gersh even jumped the gun the year previous and handed me a fat, British role where I played the Asshole I play in everything. Doppelfuck? No, thanks. What if I played A.J.'s role in Doppelfuck? Wow. No, it wouldn't have kicked ass. It would have been a high Mr. Robbins improvising bullshit, and would have kicked ass. And I would've had to kiss Alex Paul, which isn't so bad seeing that I had to kiss her in Sugar, which I wasn't in because I became an alcoholic as part of a science experiment. But now I'm a Mormon and I'm saved.
Secondly, nobody can relate to the screenplay. I don't even get half the references and I'm Rado's fucking best friend. Superbad fucking slappy sippy dick humor? Kids can relate to that. Oscar Wilde? Who? Yeah, because more than 50 percent of the people on Earth have a dick but a good 90 percent of my high school's never read The Picture Of Dorian Gray. I sound like Bendis.
Thirdly, there's no story. The whole thing is a Rado vanity project. Bendis' death, the Big Funeral; nothing happens besides Rado just being Rado for two hours and a good two minutes of Bendis-isms is enough for me, if not too much.
Obviously, the collaboration of Auddy Waffles and Rado is insane -- and the ending result can only be a compromised vision of the two. Wes Anderson, meet Woody Allen. Okay, Good. Now -- make a movie together and don't disagree about the shot where Diane Keaton is wearing a red jumpsuit and is sitting in front of floral wallpaper to sitar music for a half an hour. Go!
Also, there's no sex. What's a movie without sex?
All in all, Martin luther king was a good man because he was white and because white people brought dying black people to america to serve the Lord and eat corn on the cob. yayayayaya!!!
-dead
Monday, January 14, 2008
"Mystery Train" by Sam France
I guess Bryan Felber (?) wrote the previous blog? Composing sentences that aren't in question form with question marks at the end? Very urban? It's genius and blindly ticklish -- that's all I know. Anyways, I had to crawl up and post another (One, Jon!) blog (sorry America) in order to reinstate my rule here; I just want it known that this is MY blog, I made it, I rule it, and all you criddlers who actually have something to do with the film can get off your Posting Horses (Buffalo Son prequel) and leave the poetry to me. Just kidding. That's a JOKE -- and a good one at that!!!!! Actually, every time one of you posts it's like a little sunburst orgasm moan in my socks. This is all I do at school besides listen to Highway 61 Revisited and 36 Chambers. Mhmm. At the same time. Yeah. Awesome. Killer. Stellar. Dark Side Of The Wizard Of Oz trippy mind-bending shit. "As Good As It Gets" set to Sabbath's "Paranoia." Try it/buy it SOMETIME SOON!
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